You Can't Always Get What You Want

I

AM

BACK

I cannot believe how long its been since I updated. February...wow. So litterally 7 months of my life has gone by and I don't even know where to start. Not that a lot has happened in that amount of time, but that everything is just a jumble of events, moments, experiences, emotions, people and places.

I am officially done school at the Mount. My summer was spent in summer classes.....something I don't wish upon ANYONE. I haven't worked since I left Pier 21...that makes me sad. Mostly because my savings is starting to look pathetic and for so long I have used the "I am a student, and am too busy to work" excuse. But in looking back at the summer I am kinda glad I didn't work, because when school got crazy i don't think I could deal with working along with it. Summer classes sucked, but I got through them. And now I am just waiting for October 25th to roll around so I can finally physcially get my PR Degree. Such a weird thought. Me with a degree. Its overall weird...

I start Event and Promotions Management at the begining of October at The Nova Scotia Centre for Arts and Technology. I am starting to get excited because its going to a whole new chapter for me, actually learning in a hands on environement, not to mention how unique and laid back it is compared to the Mount. Its going to be sweet living so close to school and not having to commute. With this program, along with my degree, hopefully I will be bale to get a job in the Entertainment/Events sector. Its hard to look that far ahead...for now I am just looking forward to learning more about the feild I wanna move into.

This summer was deffinitly a test of my character. I was very content for some of it, but near the end I think I lost myself. I know I say that a lot, but this time I really mean it. I am an emotional person and its very easy for me to say "i feel happy" or "i feel sad" but this time I couldn't even pin point it. I just felt lost. Once school came to an end its like I just thoughT "hmmm...what am i now?" I had no outlet, no focus. For the most part I was living a lifestyle that did not make me feel like a person of substance...lots of drinking, not eating right, staying up late, sleeping all day, doing things that i KNEW were bad for me. Even still, I do not regret anything. I need to get this out of me while I'm still young. I think I skiped the whole phase of experimentation that most people experience in hgihschool. I never had the chance to then, so now its all coming out. When I say experimentation, I don't even mean one thing. Just the general phase of wanting to experience new things.

My relationships with people started to fail and that really sucks. When you need someone, and they fade away. A number of people deffinitly faded away. Needless to say some are still around thats a great thing too. Some people just stick, and I am thankfull for those people. Other people are meant to play a part. What that part is may not be clear but its what you learn from it that matters. I am learning to stop focusing on others so much. I need to stop needing so much. Stop relying so much. Over the summer my self image deffinitly changed. The things I once thought I loved about me I started to hate. I am still struggling with it. And I am trying not to always feel lonely, but its hard sometimes.

I am into tv so much now. I used to be so monogomous when it came to shows...there would be one or 2 that i would follow and that would be it. But two shows have become favourites as of now: Weeds and Califonication. Both shows have great characters, that get into crazy situations. Its so fun to watch and its really made me appreciate tv that pushes the boundries a bit more. Playing it safe is lame. I reccomend both shows to anyone and everyone. Also - just started watching GLEE and its another fun show that I am sure I'll keep following.

Well its safe to say that the title of blog syays it all. Hopefully by the end of year I will be back on track with life, and all that jazz. Figurr out what I want. What I don't want. Etc etc etc.

I will end with a great lyric, that sums it up:

You can't always get what you want

-S

The Road Not Taken

The Road Not Taken

Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth;

Then took the other, as just as fair,
And having perhaps the better claim,
Because it was grassy and wanted wear;
Though as for that the passing there
Had worn them really about the same,

And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black.
Oh, I kept the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way,
I doubted if I should ever come back.

I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I—
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference

-- Robert Frost

Its been forever....

No blog, I have not forgotten about you.

Its been forever since I last posted. I guess life has gotten in the way of simple things like updating this blog of mine.

I believe my last post was befroe Christmas.

I finished my 3rd and final work term and am now back in classes for the Winter Semester. This year more then others I'm finding it really difficult to be back in the school zone....its pretty much been a lack of motivation or any concentration abilities. Not working has put me back in the zone of not doing much other then going to school and doing what I can socially (which isn't a lot with the lack of money and all). All in all I manage to go out from time to time and have had some very awesome nights in with friends and booze. No I am not an alcoholic. I swear.

Life is pretty unruley, and certianly not consistent. The overwhelming amount of free time hasn't help[ed my laziness at all and I'm pretty much content with lazing around the apartment watching a lot of tv and movies, and listening to a lot of music.

Speaking of music....I love Lady GaGa's album "The Fame"....I just love her in general. She's so bizzare and strange yet fun and obviously gorgeous. The album is very dancy - yet I love what she writes about. Seems applicable enough to my life, despite the fact that a lot of her inspiration comes from the NYC art scene and SEX. So i guess its only partially applicable :P.

I'm home right now in the nish for spring break. I dunno what is about being home, but it turns me into an instantly less happy person. Maybe its the small town, or the bad memories that come back, but i generally don't feel at ease here. Despite all that I'm glad I could have some down time for a bit.

I'm strtessing about school....but am sure I will eventually get my ass into gear.

Well thats all for now.

Stay Classy!

-Sarah

Bye Bye Pier 21 :(

Today is my last day at Pier 21...temporalily anyways. It feels so unbelievably strange to me how fast this work term went by.

I'm really going to miss this place. It has truely impacted my life and I couldn't have asked for a better experience, and a better group of people to work with. Not only did I get my feet wet in terms of event coordination, but I had a blast with everyone here and have made some good friends as well. So much food, laughter and learning experience....what a term! Its weird to think this is my last work term. I feel so accustomed to thinking ahead and preparing myself for another one, but after the next two semesters of school...I'M DONE...!! ahhh scary but exciting.

Christmas is 5 days away....I can't believe it. It feels like ever since college, Christmas just creeps up on me. It feels so different from the old days where there was such a build up to it. Feels like ever since i came to the mount that all of a sudden it'll be the day before Christmas and I'm here feeling like the time FLEW BY.

Its been a decently busy week. Lots of Xmas parties and gatherings with all my work people...tons of fun. One thing is for sure, I've eaten more awesome food on this work term then any other. Workign with different cultures really exsposes you to different foods and thats pretty awesome.

Last night I got together with Ashley, Danielle and Andrea - who I haven't seen in at least a year! We all went to the Marquee to see the Tom Fun Orchestra. The name dosen't lie...it was such a fun time! It seems liek the 4 of us always fit so well when we get together after having not seen eachother for a while. Its almost like we never left. I had a blast....gotta love the company and tried and true friends.

Anyways, i'm off to get back to work, to finsih up some stuff on my last day.

Though its not goodbye, I'm pretty sad to be leaving this routine I got so used to.

Till next time,

Cheers!

Some quizes for the fun of it

You Are No Pajamas

You are a free spirited, confident person. You do what you like, when you like. Even though you're a bit strange, you find it easy to be open about who you are. Without trying to be, you come across as a very sexual person. You are very appealing. You are likely to fall asleep pretty easily. You're not an insomniac.

What Kind of Pajamas Are You?

hahahaha....

You Are a Traditional Christmas Tree

For a good Christmas, you don't have to re-invent the wheel. You already have traditions, foods, and special things you bring out every year.

What Christmas Tree Are You?

You Are Dancer

Carefree and fun, you always find reasons to do a happy dance. Why You're Naughty: That dark stint you had as Santa's private dancer. Why You're Nice: You're friendly. Very friendly.

Which of Santa's Reindeer Are You?

bahahahahahah what the hell

Your Spiritual Number is Two

You bring kindness and harmony into other people's lives. Whenever a situation or idea seems extreme, you try to lend some balance. Right now, your life is about benefiting from choices you've made in your past. You have done your best to be a good person, and it is starting to pay off. You are an idealist with interesting ideas. You can't help but see all of the beauty in the world. But you are also aware of the world and its limitations. You have realistic expectations.

What's Your Spiritual Number?

You Are Very Approachable

You can talk to anyone, and it shows. People are eager to start conversations with you. You are open and friendly. You are willing to connect with almost anyone. While it's great to be approachable, there is such a thing as too approachable. Eventually someone will try to take advantage of you. Don't be afraid to say no or end an awkward conversation.

Are You Approachable?

Your Snow Test Says You're Independent

You feel like something good will happen to you in the next few weeks. You love to work, especially when work is physical. You do well in any job, as long as you're not stuck in an office. You are an independent, individualistic person. You thrive when you're doing your own thing. Your biggest worry in your life is your health. You tend to be a bit of a hypochondriac. When it comes time to relax, you have no problem letting go. You are already pretty relaxed as is!

The Snow Test

Busy Busy Busy!

Wow, I really haven't updated in a while. Been particularly busy I suppose.

My work term is coming to an end very soon. So I have been busy with lots of projects and what not for before I leave. I still cannot get over how fast this work term went by....I mean it feels like I just started to really get used to the routine (and actually like it) and now I have to leave and go back to school....which....I'm 3/4 not looking forward to. I'm gonna tryt o work part time, to keep the money coming in. Living in Halifax is far more exspensive then living at home, with no bills or social life like my last work term. I'm hopeing to put my last pay check entirely in my savings acocunt. Lets hope it works.

Other then that, I've been hanging out with Heidi a few times since she is now done with her exams. We went to see 'Four Christmases' on Sunday night - HALARIOUS. loved it. The only thing that dissappointed me was the ending was a bit random and abrupt....other then that Vince Vaughn is halarious and Rese Witherspoon is fabulous as always.

I've been attempting to Christmas shop, though I have decided it won't happen untill I get paid on Monday. However, I do know what I am getting for everyone now so that puts my mind at ease. I went to the mall once with Heidi on Monday, with motivation to get SOME x-mas shopping done, instead...We pretty much spent the entire night in Smart Set. They were having a 25% off everything sale...so we took advantage.

I bought something that I never thought I would...A PENCIL SKIRT! Now I know I have the proper body type for this type of skirt (no curves pretty much) but man, I was nervous about getting it. Latly I have been self concious about my body, due to a lot of things. Mostly not eating right and never exercising...though my high metabolism keeps my weight decent, it dosen't keep the wieght of like people might think it does. Anyways, it looked okay, so I bought it...embracing my girly side I guess and with all the x-mas parties coming up for work (I have 4 in a row!!!)I will need it.

Yesterday the weather was so awful. I had to go to the mall to pick up a pair of boots my friend put on hold for me at Sirens (long story, pretty much I bought them and accidently took home the wrong size so had to return then, then they didn't have the size I needed so I got store credit and Sami said she'd call me when they come in again). Anyways...I really didn't wanna go back to the mall. Theres so much stress in the air around this time of year. And anyways the weather was AWFUL. Pouring out and so windy...I hated it. Stupid weather. At this point i'd rather it be snowing.

I tried Pilates last night. I bought a DVD a while ago and never used it....can i just say...HOLLY CRAP its intense!!! I mean, its deffinitly an amazing work out, but wow it'll take me a while to build up strength to do it well.

Alright, thats whats new in my world. Other then that life is pretty boring.

Heading home to the nish on the 22nd. Still no New Years Eve plans. This year I dunno what I wanna do...nothing maybe?
Besides that I have been attempting to change my life around a bit to be more healthy....attempting being the key word. I tried

What could have been

Its X-Ring week in Antigonish right now. The time of year when all the graduates of 2009 recieve their x-ring and have a series of celebrations and photo opps displaying the piece of jewelary their whole education earned. Its pretty much even bigger then graduation itself. It got me thinking.

Growing up I was pretty much pressured to go to X. Not because the school offered me what I wanted, but because its a university thats prestigous and highly appreciated by members of the community and if you live in the nish - its pretyy much expected. Not that this is overly bad. X is a great school, I would never say otherwise.

I went to X for a year, in a general arts degree. I lived on residence, which many people who are from the nish don't do. I realized I did not fit into to the culture there....the "lets get drunk every day, show up to class hungover and have cheer offs with other residences" culture. Of course, my few is different from a lot of locals because i did live on res and I was in the thick of the X culture.

When I came to the mount, everyone hung out with everyone, and though "party schools" are considered cool and lets face it - the mount isn't known for that, my days at the mount were some of the funnest days of my life.

At X, I felt I wasn't doing what I was meant to do. I felt it was very concerned with status and being the "best" and I wasn't so much concerned about attending a school thats more focused on its status then its students. Not only that but hardcore x-ers are almost scarey when it comes to other people not liking their school. People make fun of the mount all the time, but I don't really need to get my panties in a twist about it. Everyone's different and untill you experience a university yourself and figure out whats right for how you learn, you'll never really know.

I did enjoy my classes at X and will never regreat going there. It tauight me alot, and although it wasn't for me - others go there and strive. To each their own. It wasn't for me but I gave it a shot. Its just weird to think, had I stayed...what would my life be like?

I'm so happy I got into PR. Even though, after this work term, I realize there are other career areas I like to explore, this degree has given me so many opportunities and experiences that will valuably contribute to whatever I do next.

I don't even want to leave my current work term. Thats how much I love it here.

I may not recieve an X Ring when I graduate, and we all know if the shiny gold ring is on your finger people are sure to notice and immmediatly connect you to the St.FX Instiution. But I will get a degree thats tailored to the direction I am heading in...so when that moment comes I will be proud.

Thats my two cents.

I think about the What Ifs way too much....