You Can't Always Get What You Want

I

AM

BACK

I cannot believe how long its been since I updated. February...wow. So litterally 7 months of my life has gone by and I don't even know where to start. Not that a lot has happened in that amount of time, but that everything is just a jumble of events, moments, experiences, emotions, people and places.

I am officially done school at the Mount. My summer was spent in summer classes.....something I don't wish upon ANYONE. I haven't worked since I left Pier 21...that makes me sad. Mostly because my savings is starting to look pathetic and for so long I have used the "I am a student, and am too busy to work" excuse. But in looking back at the summer I am kinda glad I didn't work, because when school got crazy i don't think I could deal with working along with it. Summer classes sucked, but I got through them. And now I am just waiting for October 25th to roll around so I can finally physcially get my PR Degree. Such a weird thought. Me with a degree. Its overall weird...

I start Event and Promotions Management at the begining of October at The Nova Scotia Centre for Arts and Technology. I am starting to get excited because its going to a whole new chapter for me, actually learning in a hands on environement, not to mention how unique and laid back it is compared to the Mount. Its going to be sweet living so close to school and not having to commute. With this program, along with my degree, hopefully I will be bale to get a job in the Entertainment/Events sector. Its hard to look that far ahead...for now I am just looking forward to learning more about the feild I wanna move into.

This summer was deffinitly a test of my character. I was very content for some of it, but near the end I think I lost myself. I know I say that a lot, but this time I really mean it. I am an emotional person and its very easy for me to say "i feel happy" or "i feel sad" but this time I couldn't even pin point it. I just felt lost. Once school came to an end its like I just thoughT "hmmm...what am i now?" I had no outlet, no focus. For the most part I was living a lifestyle that did not make me feel like a person of substance...lots of drinking, not eating right, staying up late, sleeping all day, doing things that i KNEW were bad for me. Even still, I do not regret anything. I need to get this out of me while I'm still young. I think I skiped the whole phase of experimentation that most people experience in hgihschool. I never had the chance to then, so now its all coming out. When I say experimentation, I don't even mean one thing. Just the general phase of wanting to experience new things.

My relationships with people started to fail and that really sucks. When you need someone, and they fade away. A number of people deffinitly faded away. Needless to say some are still around thats a great thing too. Some people just stick, and I am thankfull for those people. Other people are meant to play a part. What that part is may not be clear but its what you learn from it that matters. I am learning to stop focusing on others so much. I need to stop needing so much. Stop relying so much. Over the summer my self image deffinitly changed. The things I once thought I loved about me I started to hate. I am still struggling with it. And I am trying not to always feel lonely, but its hard sometimes.

I am into tv so much now. I used to be so monogomous when it came to shows...there would be one or 2 that i would follow and that would be it. But two shows have become favourites as of now: Weeds and Califonication. Both shows have great characters, that get into crazy situations. Its so fun to watch and its really made me appreciate tv that pushes the boundries a bit more. Playing it safe is lame. I reccomend both shows to anyone and everyone. Also - just started watching GLEE and its another fun show that I am sure I'll keep following.

Well its safe to say that the title of blog syays it all. Hopefully by the end of year I will be back on track with life, and all that jazz. Figurr out what I want. What I don't want. Etc etc etc.

I will end with a great lyric, that sums it up:

You can't always get what you want

-S